WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange "is likely to be the target of an assassination attempt" after attempts to arrest him on trumped up rape charges failed, according to informed sources in the states.
Assange, described by the Americans as " A strange looking Australian lunatic rapist fellow with a small dick and a gay walk" is now public enemy number one, above Osama Bin Laden and Barry Manilow, after exposing American leaders as the hypocritical, arrogant bastards they are (it's ok, I've got a bullet proof vest).
Meanwhile, the yanks have had to completely overhaul their methods of communication for fear of further embarrassment. Just like British Liberal Democrats, they no longer trust cable.
Assange's latest leaks have blown the lid on a steamy affair between Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher, and John Major's proposal for a three in a bed romp with Hillary Clinton and Edwina Currie. They also revealed that the US deliberately killed thousands of women and children in Iraq, but that's hardly news.
On a lighter note, President Obama is said to have described Cameron and Clegg as "Laurel and Hardy gone wrong" and has nude posters of Ann Widdecombe on the Whitehouse wall
