North Korea's President, Cum Ill Stung, has criticised their Chinese neighbours: 'We Koreans are not Chinese' he declared 'the Chinese cuisine is inferior to the Korean. They grow fat and lazy. We are lean and fit.'
This surprise announcement, which the White House is studying for hidden meaning, is thought to be an angry rebuff to China from Korea because their powerful neighbours have stopped them going to war with South Korea.
A secret memo, leaked to certain media outlets to which we can gain access on certain terms, reveals that China has decided to move closer to the Americans and will put their Communist past behind them. Unfortunately the 'certain terms' required to get this information which are required will not be possible until your correspondent finds more viagra.
The machinations behind world headlines are almost unbelievable. Forget secret societies and sinister Bond type juntas. The facts are that some people in power are very lonely and just want a little kindness and understanding - like anyone else.