Katie Waissel's 81 Year Old Hooker Nan Fancies Threesome With Simon Cowell And Cheryl Cole?

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 25 November 2010

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This Man Was Seen Leaving Sheila's Flat Looking Distinctly Disheveled

Sheila Bugle, the disowned 81 year old prostitute grandmother of controversial X-Factor contestant Katie Waissel remained rabidly unrepentent this morning regarding her lifestyle, according to sources.

Sheila, who advertises her services on website www.rabidgrannies.con as Grand Dame Cecilia Dicky Byrd told friends that she has nothing to apologise for, that she has a healthy sex drive, and that even at the ripe old age of 81 she sees nothing wrong in having her hips knocked about for 250 smackers an hour.

She has allegedly said that she also wouldn't mind a threesome with Simon Cowell and Cheryl Cole, because she's curious to see for herself if Chezza's tattoos really disappear up her La-la and tickle her tinky winky, and if Simon's cock is as big as his ego.

"She just loves the attention," a source told us. "She's not as active as she makes out, and I know for a fact that one of her punters asked for his money back because she kept getting cramp in her toes. She has a big poster of Wayne Rooney on her bedroom wall, and she claims he's a frequent visitor - although I've never seen him. I did see a bloke once who looked a bit like Stan Collymore, but I couldn't swear it was him."

Other sources revealed that 81 year old Sheila has a thing about hats - usually of the military/equestrian variety, and that they have frequently seen her silhouetted against her bedroom blinds of a night riding bareback in a helmet and waving one arm in the air.

Shouting: "Ride 'im cowboy!"

Although this remains, as yet, unconfirmed.

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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