Lisbon - (They-Don't-Like-it-Up-'Em! Mess): "The resemblance is uncanny," NATO top brass commented as David Cameron rolled out yet another vintage performance at the weekend.
The UK Prime Monster is said to have been brought up on Dad's Army reruns and easily emulates Private Pike's 'Stupid Boy' role.
Genetic mutations in his brain chemistry however mean that instead of picking a sensible Tory profession "such as whoring or investment banking" Cameron has gone for the megalomania option of his paternal grandfather Adolf Hitler.
At a routine Downing Street MMR scan last month doctors noticed some curious frontal lobe activity in the PM's brain.
The last time such psychedelic alpha waves were detected was when Cherry Bush QC tried poisoning the No 10 cat Humphrey with psilocybin-rich magic mushrooms growing in the Chequers ha-ha.
The feline eventually vanished after terrorising much of SW1 with his delusions of grandeur and Sieg Heil! impersonations.
Samantha Cameron's pet Budgie Boris laid a swastika-festooned egg this morning.