Shield of Umbrellas Gets Go Ahead

Funny story written by j.w.

Saturday, 20 November 2010

image for Shield of Umbrellas Gets Go Ahead
Just Part of our Defensive Shield

Twenty eight umbrellas will be providing protection for Nato countries as a shield against attack from disgruntled students, angry former civil servants and the Unite Union.

The trifling cost of this defensive shield will be $270 million. Downing Street were at pains to assure the usual sceptics that Umbrellas could keep out the worst that the climate change weather could throw at us.

However doubt remains as to whether these proposals are a sufficient defense. A joint comminque from the former heads of the Army, Air Force and Navy gave a stark warning which may well give the Government renewed embarrassment after the Lord Young Affair.

The former armed forces heads, in a statement declared: 'It should be clear to the Government that 28 Umbrellas is an insufficient number to protect us from attacks by unknown enemies. We call upon the Government to think again. Britain's future is in the balance, we don't want it upset.'

David Cameron was quick to defend his policy from 'these old farts' as he described his critics. 'They are no doubt unaware of the latest Umbrella developments. I have seen them for myself and they are really tough. The only problem of getting them up has been solved by the latest techniques in stiffening Umbrella handles, which can be found in your Spam internet garbage.'

So we can all go to bed safe in the knowledge that our Defences are adequate to take on lawless students and the worst weather imaginable.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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