Death Wish 99?

Funny story written by Herrdoktorfox

Friday, 5 November 2010

image for Death Wish 99?
Adrian Chiles is offered a down payment from ITV CEO Cyril Nutjob to host another ratings loser!

It would seem quite apparent that ITV have a death wish of the awesome kind. With ratings dropping around them like fainting goats.....and their latest overpriced brainwave 'Daybreak' plunging faster than the Titanic....the numbskulls are now about to give resident pocket billards champion, Adrian Chiles his own chat show!

Have these idiots ever bothered to question just why Daybreak is losing viewers? Of course not! But perhaps the sight of a seemingly unwashed, unkempt, overweight, belly-button fluff picking slob such as Chiles is enough to put anyone off their Weetabix first thing in the morning.

The man is 101% plank by way of being a piece of 4 by 2!

Even stringing a humble question together whilst keeping his eyes open at the same time is beyond his capabilities and to think, ITV pay this prat over £1 million a year!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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