Written by Sidney Bollocks

Sunday, 31 October 2010

image for Posh misses out on Melbourne Cup run
Not under starter's orders

Victoria Beckham, aka Posh, has missed out on a wild card entry in the Melbourne Cup.

Posh is due to accompany hubby David, when he goes downunder next month. He will play in an exhibition game between his club, LA Galaxy, and an Australian outfit which would struggle against Grimsby Town FC.

Posh, never one to miss out on a bit of highly paid self-aggrandisement, contacted the organisers of Australia's most prestigious horse race. But at an asking price of $1 million just to start the race, organisers felt she was just taking the piss.

Bruce Cobber, of Melbourne Cup Pty Ltd, said "Who does she think she bloody well is? She was just a crap pop singer and now she just peddles crap fragrances and crap fashion lines. She's not a patch on our Kylie & Dannii. Besides, none of the jockeys would ride her. They said she would be a far too boney and uncomfortable ride. One said it would have been like riding a whippet in the Derby."

Posh was unable to comment. Such was her scowl, she suffered partial facial paralysis and was unable to speak.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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