Gulf of Mexico - (RIP Mess): A sneak preview of HM's Last Will & Testament has revealed her final resting place of choice lies at 28.736628°N 88.365997°W.
The Gulf of Mexico location is near the Mississippi River Delta site of BP's Deepwater Horizon 2010 catastrophe.
Her Maj's remains are to be cremated at a special facility near the Sizewell B nuclear plant.
They will then be taken on board the Royal Navy's latest minesweeper HMS Knuckleduster inside a Greek urn from Prince Philip's looted Elgin Marbles collection.
A royal funerary party, charged with the dumping of the royal cinders into the sea, 'may also dispose of HM's corgis' as it sees fit.
A spokesperson for the RSPCA said today the canines would not be cremated along with their mistress because of the risk of exploding SatNav-enabled ID microchips implanted under their coats:
"Far better to put them down humanely - along with HM! - than have the whole sorry show drag on yet another decade."
Princess Anne is a trans-gender sensation.
