Written by churchmouse

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

image for Churchill's secret shame revealed
A hand a bit like Churchills holding a pen that might have been a bit like his.

Recently released papers reveal that Britain came close to losing the Second World War due to a fit of pique by the then prime minister Winston Churchill.

The papers show that in the spring of 1941 Churchill had received a telegram from President Roosevelt stating that the United Kingdom would have to pay the full market price for powdered egg imported from America.

Churchill was so upset by this that he went into one of the toilet cubicles in the Houses of Parliament and wrote "Roosevelt is a cock sucking bastard" on the inside of the door.

Fortunately the next person to use the toilet was the Foreign Secretary Lord Halifax, who during the course of evacuating his bowels noticed Churchill's distinctive hand writing. He immediately put an armed guard on the toilet cubicle to prevent any passing Americans from using it.

Lord Halifax then insisted that Churchill be kept behind after the parliamentary session and made to clean the graffiti from all of the cubicles.

If word had got back to President Roosevelt, it would have been probable that the United States would not have entered the war, and just possible that they might have joined the other side.

Historians are now combing the released papers for other unknown secret political/toilet incidents.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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