Written by Erskin Quint

Sunday, 18 April 2010

image for Nick Clegg Is Almost As Popular As Churchill
Winston Churchill. A Nodding Dog is More Likely To Sell Insurance.

Boyish, eager Lib-Dem leader Nick Clegg continues to dominate the popularity stakes after his recent decimation of old dame Brown and shrill harridan Cameron in last week's Prime Ministerial Debate.

Last Thursday saw Clegg play an innocent Cinderella to the Ugly Sisters of bully-boy Brown and creaking con-man Cameron.

And it seems the British public, always keen on the plucky underdog, has taken little Nick to their hearts and bosoms.

Hector Dexter, an Exeter expert in public expectations, discussed the extent of expectation now heaped on the excellent, excelling Nick Clegg.

He told us that a new poll has revealed that Nick Clegg is nearly as popular as Churchill.

"This is a huge step forward for Clegg", he said. "Churchill, the lovable nodding dog with his 'Oh, Yes!' catchphrase (modelled on Please Sir! comedy janitor, ex-Desert Rat Potter) is the popular character whose comedy exterior conceals a heart of steel (he looks like he is having a laugh but he is really selling expensive insurance policies). This is ideal for a prospective Prime Minister and can only bode well for Clegg."

And there was more good news for the 'boy wonder', the 'jack the giant killer' who can do no wrong these days.

There are rumours that The Halifax Bank are considering headhunting Nick as a logical successor to the likes of Howard Brown who made such an impact in their TV adverts.

Industry sources claim that Clegg's debate performance was so endearing and sincere that, once he has lost the actual election, he would be an ideal figurehead for any financial institution in these times when people have lost faith in their banks.

So there we have it. After the election, Nick Clegg won't be short of job offers. And he will go to the ball after all!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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