MI6 cryptographer cops hunt Stuxnet genius 'Codename Myrtus'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 1 October 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for MI6 cryptographer cops hunt Stuxnet genius 'Codename Myrtus'
Hakea myrtoides, the computer hacker myrtle, looks a lot like the carniverous Venus Fly Trap plant

London - (Memory Stick Insect News): A suspected MI6/KGB double agent has been designated the codename Myrtus following the discovery of the Latin word for myrtle in the Stuxnet malware encryption protocols.

The plant, a fragrant shrub indigenous to the Mediterranean and much of Asia, is a member of the Myrtaceae family.

Its hybrid form names are puzzling police investigators in the MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams death probe following a huge media campaign fingering Mossad for the Stuxnet virus creation.

"We're keen to trace a number of Myrtus gofers who may have known Dr Williams," an anti-terror branch spokesman said today.

"Top of our list is the lemon myrtle hybrid Backhousia citriodora which we think could be a subtle twist on the term back-of-house or rear door entry," the police source continued.

"Then there's Backhousia myrtifolia - the cinnamon myrtle variant, common in Kurdish and Azeri areas of Iran.

"Of course, our biggest interest is in Hakea myrtoides - the computer hacker myrtle endemic to the Darling Range woodlands near Perth in Western Australia."

Conspiracy theory websites are having none of it, however.

A blogger on TinFoilHattersAnonymouse.con posted a scathing rejoinder today saying that 'Myrtus' is a nickname for Moaning Myrtle - a ghost who haunts the second floor girls' lavatory at Hogwarts in the Harry Potter children's books.

In 'Chamber of Secrets' Moaning Myrtle's antics are dealt with severely by the Ministry of Magic.

"Much like the MI6 Internal Affairs/Dirty Trick department, eh?" the blogger 'Witchfinder General' commented today.

Alexander Litvinenko died from a Plutonium-210 overdose on Halloween 2007.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more