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Stuxnet virus crosses the species barrier

Funny story: Stuxnet virus crosses the species barrier

The Stuxnet virus that crippled the Iranian power grid by taking down three hydroelectric dams, two nuclear power plants and a small generator outside Adeli Deli in Tehran, has crossed the species barrier by infecting a human operator. "We're terr...

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Sun/Mercury conjunction, Stuxnet and Gaddafis all blamed for London Stock Exchange glitch

Funny story: Sun/Mercury conjunction, Stuxnet and Gaddafis all blamed for London Stock Exchange glitch

London - Billions of dollars' trade were lost this morning as a crippling Sun/Mercury conjunction at six degrees Pisces brought chaos to the LSE floor. The water sign conjunction has always been a bit of a Bermuda Triangle - especially when accomp...

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Wikileaks 'poised to name MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams killers'

Funny story: Wikileaks 'poised to name MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams killers'

London - (Spy-in-the-Sky Mess): The brilliant creator of the Stuxnet cybermunition program 'was probably deleted for the malware's protocols'. And a damning Wikileaks indictment is set to name some of the KGB/Mossad double agents in the frame.

Read full story View 'Wikileaks 'poised to name MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams killers''

Lethal Stuxnet hybrid lip-syncs Farcebook messaging

Funny story: Lethal Stuxnet hybrid lip-syncs Farcebook messaging

Cyberspace - (Malware news): It's the end of email as we know it: today's launch of the Stuxnet-enhanced Farcebook comms tool sees 'a new hex't generation messaging system' go viral. The malware mutant mimics the genuine Farcebook messaging upgra...

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Stuxnet sonar horror blamed for death of 33 pilot whales

Funny story: Stuxnet sonar horror blamed for death of 33 pilot whales

Rutland Island, Burtonport - (Malware): The cybervirus that sank HMS Preposterous the other week has now claimed another scalp - 33 pilot whale nursing mothers and their young. Their lifeless corpses were washed ashore off the Scottish coast this...

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Stuxnet behind London Stock Exchange crash

Funny story: Stuxnet behind London Stock Exchange crash

London - (Bull**** Market): By lunchtime yesterday the suspected 'glitch' had repositioned the Footsie Index somewhere below the international junk bond market's fire sale trading register. And re-routed the LSE lavatories' aircon systems into tra...

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Stuxnet claims Scilly Isles factory fishing ship blaze

Funny story: Stuxnet claims Scilly Isles factory fishing ship blaze

Atlantic Ocean - (Malware): The high tech virus is suspected of being behind a chaotic digital chip pan fire started aboard a Norwegian-registered fishing smack called the MV Athena. Coastguards were called out late last night as the blaze spread...

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Stuxnet claims another scalp as missing Russian sub spotted in Loch Ness

Funny story: Stuxnet claims another scalp as missing Russian sub spotted in Loch Ness

Scotland - (Hunt for Red October Mess): Hundreds of years of Scottish mythology had attributed sightings of a scary Loch prowler to a fishy local monster. This weekend a Pentagon eye-in-the-sky satellite finally nailed down the location of a miss...

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Stuxnet sinks Royal Navy's HMS Astute flagship sub

Funny story: Stuxnet sinks Royal Navy's HMS Astute flagship sub

Isle of Skye - (Pie-in-the-Sky Mess): Fears that the Stuxnet virus may have sunk the latest and most sophisticated British nuclear submarine have shaken the MoD. The billion pound attack stealth vessel was last seen listing badly off Scottish terr...

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Stuxnet sucks net lifeblood on 10/10/10

Funny story: Stuxnet sucks net lifeblood on 10/10/10

Cyberspace - (Malware): A numerologically absurd proposition will test theories this weekend that the internet is about to collapse under the weight of the numbers game. The Stuxnet virus's programmed life span is due to detonate millions of lapto...

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Pentagon's International Space Station eye-in-the-sky plots Stuxnet spread

Funny story: Pentagon's International Space Station eye-in-the-sky plots Stuxnet spread

Space - (The Final Affrontiere): Conspiracy theorists yesterday blamed the virus for thousands of computerised supermarket till crashes in the UK. But the existence of a secret Pentagon space station installation, said to be monitoring the Stuxnet...

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MI6 cryptographer cops hunt Stuxnet genius 'Codename Myrtus'

Funny story: MI6 cryptographer cops hunt Stuxnet genius 'Codename Myrtus'

London - (Memory Stick Insect News): A suspected MI6/KGB double agent has been designated the codename Myrtus following the discovery of the Latin word for myrtle in the Stuxnet malware encryption protocols. The plant, a fragrant shrub indigenous...

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MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams 'worked on Stuxnet'

Funny story: MI6 cryptographer Gareth Williams 'worked on Stuxnet'

London - (Cyberworm-That-Turned Mess): A new theory about the death of MI6 maths genius Gareth Williams claims he had worked on the Stuxnet cybermunition program. This targets German-made Semens (sic) computer 'tools' that run Iran's George Bushe...

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