Written by SpoofyDoofy

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

image for Scarborough, Whitby and N. Yorkshire Councils, successfully rewarded with 'Jobsworth Achievements Citation'.
"Mum, It's not a bicycle. It's a four-wheeler."

Pannetts Park in Whitby, North Yorkshire: Jobsworth Park Officer approaches an eight month pregnant lady and her 3 year old son, to tell her about a by-law that her young son's bicycle stabilisers were a health and safety hazard.

The Jobsworth Park Officer will tell a little boy off for riding his bike, but for the bigger kids & adults the Jobsworth Park Officer has to run off to one of the other quangos to get help. In a carefully worded statement by Scarborough Council's Jobsworth Parks and Countryside Manager of the Jobsworth Division;

    "The by-law in operation in the park states that cycles are permitted, but people have to walk with them and push them along rather than ride on them.

    'Our park officer did approach the lady and her son to tell her about this by-law but at no time did he ask her to leave the park.

    'On the issue of bikes, scooters, skateboards, dogs and underage drinking, we work closely with park rangers, the local police and the Friends of Pannett Park to ensure that not only are by-laws adhered to, but most importantly that the public understand them."

As ever, the brave parasitic Jobsworths pick on soft targets. Pregnant woman and child - no risk to his elf n safety. Teenagers on bikes - very great risk to his elf n safety. The word of a uniformed person is always taken as Gospel. What did the same Jobsworth Park Officer do about the teenagers drinking beer? Did the Jobsworth Park Officer ask the person with the pitbull terrier to put a muzzle on the dog? Did the Jobsworth Park Officer check the play area to see if there were any teenagers on bikes that seem to be a local hazard?

Stay away from Whitby. Not only is it overcrowded and smelly it is also populated with jobsworths in the pay of Scarborough Borough Council which has got to be one of the worst run in the country.

That Jobsworth Park Officer Warden must have had his head buried in some unpleasant part of his body. Being a bully who was taking advantage of a vulnerable pregnant woman with a very young child, this uneducated, brainless and coward Jobsworth Park Officer Warden would have been petrified to tackle the other teenagers on their bikes, because he knew full well that they would have dealt with him in a different way.

Finally, a message to the Jobsworth Park Officer Warden who "...invoked a by-law passed in 1950 that prohibits all bicycles from being ridden in Pannetts Park in Whitby, North Yorkshire."

It's not a bicycle.

It's a four-wheeler.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
49 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more