Tony Blair claims Gordon Brown "unable to come out of the closet"

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Thursday, 2 September 2010


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Blair's reaction when he learned that Brown had locked himself in the toilet.

In the latest startling revelation from his book, Tony Blair claims that Gordon Brown is a closet gay who refused or was unable to come out of the closet.

The allegation relates to an incident in 1994, when the two men met at a friend's house to discuss who should be the next leader of the Labour party in the aftermath of the sudden death of former leader John Smith. Brown went to the toilet and stayed there. Blair recalls that he then received a phone call from Brown asking for help being outted and Blair quickly ran upstairs, but when he got there, Brown was already out, pretending the whole thing had never happened, wearing his trademark fake smile and extending his hand to be shaken. Blair recalls "I shook his hand but washed it straight after since it had a funny smell".

Blair had kept quiet about the incident until now but insisted, of his reason for the disclosure now, "I'm not motivated by malice. I assure you that I'm motivated only by greed."

Gordon Brown wouldn't be the first politician who refused to come out of the closet. Only this week, Foreign Secretary William Hague said he was remaining in the closet about allegations that he had a torrid affair with 25-year-old friend Christopher Myers, whom he oddly promoted from being his driver to being his political advisor. Hague denies any impropriety, saying that "Christopher's good at U turns, that's what makes him a good political advisor. That and his absolutely gorgeous ass. No, wait, delete the last sentence, I'm a married man."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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