"We're not English, we're Scouse" has been the mantra for decades and in a defiant act sure to infuriate the middle class shandy drinking homo's in the South of England; Liverpool have finally woken up the fact that they are much better off (and indeed much better period) by freeing themselves from the shackles of British imperialism.
From the 1st September 2010, Merseyside will remove itself from the United Kingdom and declare itself The Peoples Republic of Merseyside.
Scouse passports have already been issued to locals, Bill Shankly has replaced the Queen as the Sovereign head of State and parliament will sit at Anfield. Five European Cups will emblazen the new country's flag and You'll Never Walk Alone has been declared the official anthem. The Mersey Tunnels are already being bricked up to keep out the plastic scousers from the Wirral who have (falsely) long claimed to be Liverpudlians and the tiny peninsula will now be used as an open prison and waste infill site for the shiny new statehood. Southport is being retained as a giant old people's home.
The new country would like to point out to the English wankers that:
(1) It has a far superior footballing history than anywhere in the UK and arguably anywhere else in Europe.
(2) It has the greatest musical heritage anywhere in the world.
(3) Already European Capital of Culture in 2008; it ranks amongst the best cities in the entire world for architecture, cultural heritage, gastronomy and entertainment.
(4) Many of the best artists, writers, actors, poets and entertainers come from Liverpool.
(5) We have been an inclusive, multicultural city for decades and decades. Our standard of living is far higher than that of London and the like.
(6) Unlike immigrant infested shitholes like London - you can walk the streets and meet locals, you can park your car pretty much all over the place, there is a strong, vibrant community, violent crime is extremely low and we don't give a toss about middle class pursuits such as yoga, organic shite, cheese made from breastmilk, bicycles, generall London gayness, celebrity for the sake of celebrity or elitist crap.
(7) We have an underground system that is not crowded, is clean, is on time and is free from Romanian beggers carrying round babies demanding money while they're not busy pickpocketing.
(8) We don't have BBC bellends, fat cat bankers or expense fiddling politicians in Merseyside let alone our new country, they can all remain in London fattening themselves on your collective tit.
(9) We're harder, better looking, politer and our women are fitter. Our kids could eat your kids, dead simple.
(10) Unlike the rest of the UK which has managed to delete the word community from their vocabulary - when we go on holiday and get into any trouble - if another scouser hears our accent then they will gladly step in and lend support because scousers always have each other's backs. The international fraternity of scousers is like no other fraternity.
Following Liverpool's declaration of independence; FIFA have already vetoed London's bid for the 2018 World Cup and immediately awarded it to Liverpool based on their decade after decade of football domination. Welsh, Irish, Scottish, US and French leaders have all sent strong messages of support welcoming the move and have added their names to the long list of nationalities that despise the conceited, whining, British twats as much as we do.
Prime Minister Cameron, when pressed whether or not he would pursue a military solution, had this to say:
"We can't pursue a military option because the scousers have robbed all the tires from our army vehicles. They've hotwired all our planes and our soliders are all refusing to wear their uniforms having seen the stunning new Sergio Tachini and La Coste uniforms that the scousers have gotten themselves. At the end of the day, the people of Liverpool have suffered the most under successive governments yet they still rank among the most industrious and entrepreneurial people on Earth so they're clearly better off without us. They've got a community and a spirit that we just can't touch here in London. To be frank, Scousers are simply too hard and we don't want to mess with them. Forget the Chinese, Scousers will soon run the planet.."
Liverpool have already confirmed a provisional list of "Enemies of the State" which include:
- Boris Johnson
- Billy Connolly
- Kelvin Mackenzie
- All employees of The Sun Newspaper
- Gary Neville
- Alex Ferguson
- Jose Mourinho
- The Happy Mondays
- Morrissey
- Ringo Starr
- Michael Owen
It is the sovereign duty of Scousers to attack any or all of these dickheads on sight. Liverpool have also confirmed that they are replacing Robbie Fowler as God in the new democracy.
