Everyone will get A stars in A levels from now, it has been announced.
The Government decided that the old system, whereby some students got Bs, Cs, Ds and ever less, was unfair, since it discriminates against candidates according to how clever they are, which is contrary to the Human Rights Act. Under the new system, everyone will get an A star.
In fact, A stars will also be awarded to people who didn't sit any A level examinations, since it would be wrong to exclude them for geographic, age-related or any other reason.
The news was warmly received across the country. One 78 year old man said "Now I can finally get some school exam results. This will make up for the 40 years I spent down 'pit, which fortunately ended when Maggie Thatcher closed 'pit."
Students and employers were less enthusiastic, though. One 18 year old girl who studied really hard said "Why should stupid or lazy people get the same result as me?"
The Government is thinking of abolishing Bs, Cs, Ds and lower grades in other exams as well. A spokesman said "It will be much easier if everyone gets the same result. Think how much money we can save if we don't have to mark these tests?"
