Record A Level Results Announced

Written by Jen

Thursday, 19 August 2010

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Easy does it?

Remarkable results this year for A level results as 100% of papers were awarded A* grades.

Speaking on behalf of the Department for Education Mr C Dick said "All this nonsense about papers getting easier is very frustrating. These exams are really really hard and I defy anyone to say otherwise."

Examples of this year's questions are as follows:

Science:

Which of these is not a vegetable:

A: Potato B: Cucumber C: Lettuce D: Burger

Spell hydrogen (without looking at the way we've spelt it)

A: Hdrogen B: Hydrogen C: Dryogenh D: Ydrogen

Maths:

You have two apples, I take away one of them - what should I have:

A: One apple B: Four bananas. C: A bicycle D: A criminal record for theft.

When asked whether he felt the questions were easier than 20 years ago Mr Dick said "I think these questions are just as difficult to be honest. I only got 97% in one of them. That question about the apples really threw me."

Mr Dick was last seen trying to work out how to open the door to his office.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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