Sam Jones, a sixteen-year-old schoolboy is collecting his G.C.S.E results today, and although he is expected to get good grades, he is more scared of having to repeatedly jump and down for a photographer from the local newspaper The Chutney on the Fr...
Indecision was rampant in the Battambang commune of Tapon this morning, when a man who had initially made a 'concrete decision' about something, subsequently changed his mind. The man, Moys Kenwood, 54, a teacher at a school in the city, had thoug...
President Obama gave the following address today: I would be willing to wager any amount with any member of the Tea Party that they could not pass the test given to immigrants desiring American citizenship. If flag waving Bible Belting assholes like Ted Cruz or Mike Huckleberry or Ted Cruz or Rick Perry can pass this test i will kiss their fat ignorant asses!" Here's a self-test for YOU t...
New York, NY - In an astounding feat of resiliency today, two university students on the precipice of finals season engaged in a three minute conversation without a single complaint. Danielle Goldstein and Beverly Arden, friends from first year th...
"I don't know if something happened to me in early childhood or what but I cannot stand getting a physical every year...but I guess I must", he told a friend while back at home. The friend stated that he knew the feeling as he was the same way wit...
Young children who do not exercise very much are more likely to perform better in exams as they grow up, according to researchers at the Institute of Obesity, Glasgow. Avoidance of exercise particularly helps girls do better in written exams in P.
Education chiefs have been left reeling after a shock slump in GCSE results. When it comes to getting the grades, the female of the species has been consistently more deadly than the male. But for the first time, both boys and girls have been out...
Increasing numbers of Britain's students are using hand-made drugs to boost their academic performance. Typically, students facing exams wrap a cosy rug around themselves whilst complaining that the exam hall is too cold. This procedure enables s...
Creationists are crowing that their faith based schools have the highest exam pass rate of any school in the world, with all of their pupils attaining the maximum one hundred percent in all of their papers, including science. "This is a true examp...
A top academic reckons he has the perfect answer to 'pushy parents' who are increasingly encouraging their children to query marks at institutions such as Oxford University. These parents have become accustomed to paying for re-sits and re-marks a...
Today, teenagers across the whole of England, Wales and Northern Ireland are celebrating their excellent exam results - or else planning the rest of their life as an exam-failing looter. Scottish teenagers do not take exams, and are judged instead on...
Five thousand disgruntled potential British citizens are threatening to sue the Home Office after a pizza delivery boy mixed up the citizenship tests with several thousand GSCE exam papers. It seems that the people were given GSCE papers, rather t...
A recent survey of maths teachers at secondary schools in England has revealed that nearly ninety percent believe themselves to be above average. Worst still, they have been told that ninety percent believe themselves to be above average, and do not...
Recently Ofqual has attacked 'unacceptable' exam paper blunders; A 'rogue' question inserted into an AS-level maths exam, worth 11 per cent of the total mark, sat by almost 6,800 students, the exam board blundered to calculate the correct length for the shortest route along a network of tracks in a forest equal to an equation set out in the test paper... An AS-level business studies exam, ma...
Exams standards watchdog, Ofqual, is to launch an investigation into the standards of exams taken every year by youngsters. This will be the largest inquiry by the regulator and is expected to cover annual rises in grades, the perceived difficulty...
BIRMINGHAM - New research by the University of Birimingham says that Britain's education system is failing the procrastinators and the don't-give-a-shitists. A national campaign spearheaded by Inhopeless has been started in earnest. "I was a ma...
Describe the events leading up to the start of WW2 Try to include names and dates. Once, there was this bloke named Nazi, and he had some friends called Hitler and Adolf and thier gang was called German. One day, they had an argument with a gang called the Poland. The Poland people did not want to be mates with Nazi and his friends, so, Hitler and Adolf beat them up. But, the Polands had s...
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