'Jesus Wept!' crop circles are just a cosmic bead curtain design say locals

Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 5 August 2010

image for 'Jesus Wept!' crop circles are just a cosmic bead curtain design say locals
Jacques de Molay's turning in his grave at the latest hoax

Hungerford - (Cereal Hoax News): A cereal parody of a notorious Vatican hoax?

Religious nutters were going into raptures today as two 'Jesus' crop circles sprang up beside the M4 in Berkshire.

The wheat field etchings were immediately hailed by UK Creationists as living images of the Shroud of Turin.

But local cereaologists Dave and Mavis Trumpfeather are having none of it:

"Everyone knows the Shroud of Turin is a massive hoax," Mrs T complained at her Rotary Club tiddlywinks meeting this afternoon.

"Carbon dating has proved the 14th century provenance is a cleverdick Leonardo picture of Jacques de Molay - the Knights Templar boss put to death on Vatican orders.

"Besides, you'd have to be hallucinating on an overdose of Fothergill's Old Peculiar to imagine these images are anything other that a very nice bead curtain design."

Spoof reporters holdaying in the Berks countryside today said that with a great deal of squinting it was just possible to trace some pixilated facial features in these latest wheat field etchings.

Aerial photographs however show nothing more than parallel lines in a 250ft diameter circle with variously-sized mini-circles dangling along like beads on wire.

The Pope's UK visit in September is now likely to be cancelled indefinitely.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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