Jackson to run Deepcut

Funny story written by Greg F. O'Fay

Saturday, 16 April 2005


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Michael Jackson, not to be confused with Gen. Sir Michael Jackson, the well known pillar of society and pop legend is said to be set to run one of the UK's best known Army Barracks, Deepcut. Since the departure of Leslie Skinner, a well known disciplinarian and sex fiend, the Barracks is said to be suffering low morale. A close source said, Jackson's love for the younger male is sure to raise morale and more than an eye brow.
Jackson is thought to have new methods of whipping the new recruits into shape. Gone will be the days of marching drill. The new Jacksonian method will be applied. With no external complaints procedure in place, it is said that " what aint seen, wont hurt " and who is going to believe that young soldiers are being subjected to anything other than the thriller experience. Dim witted young recruits have craved for years to have attention placed upon them, afterall they are all from the deprived parts of British society.

The British Ministry of Defence ( MoD ) has for some time been under pressure to change the regeme within it's Army training establishments. It is thought that the MoD have welcomed Mr Jackson's appointment and look forward to the first passing out parrade at Deepcut, where it is expected that the massed brass band will strike up a mustering rendition of "Billie Jean ". The parents will be so proud to see thier sons and daughters ( Jackson did not realise that women would be there ) moonwalk past them.

Some critics of the new regime say that it may promote sexual abuse. The MoD's response to that is, "it has worked in the past, why wont it work now ". This response just shows that after the Defence Committee report into the duty of care of young soldiers the MoD grinned and shook a lot of hands, then went back to employing suspected child abusers.

In years to come, once these young recruits have matured, they will pass on all of Jackson's teachings. This will ensure that the tradition of taking young men from the gutter, abusing them and then expecting them to serve our country will carry on.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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