Yobbos invent frightening new method of assault

Written by Stevey G.

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

image for Yobbos invent frightening new method of assault
Ready, aim, FIRE!!!!!

As if life on the streets was not bad enough these days, we have learned of a frightening new trend which is being adopted by gangs of yobs and hoodies, the length and breadth of the country.

First there was 'mugging', then 'joy-riding'. More recently we had to endure the threat of 'happy-slapping' attacks and now, the latest trend to hit the streets is the 'drive by shitting'.

In this form of attack, a car is stolen and driven on to a neighbouring gang's 'turf'. The miscreants then either defecate out of the car window directly on the ground as an act of disrespect, or in worse cases they will throw their faeces directly at rival gang members.

A police spokesman told us 'We are having to deal with more and more of these attacks. Whilst not as deadly as the old style drive-by shooting, they can still be very messy'.

Messy indeed, and whilst the police did have some success in restricting the supply of firearms and ammunition, we suspect that controlling the supply of this form of ammunition will be much more difficult.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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