Meddling Eurocrats have announced plans for a wholesale ban on ordering eggs by the dozen.
Barmy Brussels minister Maris Piper, 56, instead is demanding that the versatile egg is ordered by weight in future.
She insists "we've listened to the customer and what we're finding time and time again is that consumers find it easier to order say 327 grams of eggs, half a kilo of cheese or 1.792 litres of milk.
"Under the current system, shopkeepers and customers alike are confused at terms like 12 eggs, that cheese there or a pint of milk please. The new measures will remove these ambiguities, going forward", she argued.
Reaction
Egg eater Sally Monella, 26, from Rochester thinks the plans are way off the mark. She explained "I love eggs but i may need to re-think my shopping habits after this. I mean where will it all end?"
"I'm a keen cycler", she enthused. When I pop in Halfords will I now have to ask for 12.62 kilos of mountain bike with 806 grams of headgear protection?"
Housewife Sheila Jones, 38, from Northallerton agrees "I've got my eyes on a nice new bin for my kitchen. Do i now have to ask for the 22.672 litre stainless steel Brabantia with 506.5 gram inner bucket?"
Loophole
It's not all bad news however. A loophole in the law would allow you to order 2 boxes of 6 eggs rather than a dozen.
Lawyer Nick Cheese,34, explains "it seems the offending word in this case is 'dozen'. The consumer needs to re-evaluate the way they order their basic food items in future"
He continued "For example, egg buyers could say 'a box of 6 eggs please, hesitate momentarily, and say 'oh go on, give us another box'. That way the customer is happy as he has his dozen eggs, the offending word is not used, and the shopkeeper is blissfully unaware of what has just taken place or the customer could say '12 eggs please, nod at the items he wants or simply point."
