Written by Blazing Saddle

Monday, 21 June 2010

image for Charlotte Church Wooed By Woods
Gavin Henson At Mahiki Last Night

In a shock revelation, "Voice of an Angel", Charlotte Church has published a letter to her written (it is alleged) by Tiger Woods.

"Dear Charlotte" it begins in sickeningly familiar terms, " I write to you as one who recently has gone through a relationship breakup".

The letter continues "If you need a shoulder to cry on, or a real man to lean on, just call me and I'll be there".

"Charlotte, you may have read things in the newspapers about me, but hey! I've read stuff about you! Was it true about the male voice choir? It isn't true about me and the Dagenham Girls' Pipe Band, but hey - you never know!

It's fate, you and me, I swing, you smoke, I am from a minority - so are you and your ex!

Let's get together and it'll be alright"!

Woods goes on to be extremely personal and intimate and Miss Church has asked this reporter to state that she is only concerned with her professional future as Nora Batty's body double.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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