Belfast - (Rioters): Bloodsucking MoD leeches loyal to preposterous Hellfire Club grandee Prince Philip were behind it.
That's the gist of the 38 year, £200 million probe the Saville Inquiry conducted by the 'Jim Will Fix It' cousin of Margaret Thatcher deejay Jimmy Saville.
The January 1972 shooting of Northern Ireland civil rights marchers killed 13 and seriously injured dozens.
They had been protesting about getting rid of the Duke of Edinburgh after finding out he'd ordered the JFK assassination of November 1963.
Loads of official probes, cover-ups and subsequent debunkings of the Bogside incident spawned the subsequent iconic UK government whitewash industry.
This culminated in the supreme farce of the 2003 Hutton Inquiry into the Iraq war and the 'suicide' of WMD expert Dr David Kelly.
Everyone was exonerated by Lord Hutton who somehow forgot to mention that both he and Dr Kelly were Prince Philip's bastard sons.
Ex-UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown's administration helpfully ruled that the results of a secret postmortem into Kelly's death must be classified Top secret for at least 70 years.
Joanna Lumley's one big fibber.
