Written by Mark Percival

Sunday, 13 June 2010

image for Three injured in Yorkshire gas explosion

Three people have been taken to hospital with injuries resulting from a huge gas explosion. There are around 20 ground floor flats affected in Bentley, North Yorkshire.

All three emergency services are still on the scene, and are assessing the structural integrity of the complex which was built to house elderly people.

Chief Fire Officer Sinjun Hare has been investigating the cause of the explosion which has been linked to a special offer at the local Supermarket.

Initial reports show that the blast was due to an excessive build up of methane within the premises; it is known that the local Morrisons currently have a four pack of Branston beans for 99p, and a buy get one free on own make tinned Prunes.

When sifting through the wreckage Officer Hare has reported that many empty tins associated with these products had been found in multiple flats throughout the complex. Early conclusions indicate that following the consumption of the special offers there had been an inevitable increase in flatulence levels to a critical level within the complex.

It is thought the explosion was triggered by a visitor to a ground floor flat; Mr Ivor Windybottom is normally visited by his sister at around the time of the explosion who, it is believed, entered the flats on her electric scooter.

Officer Hare stated that the force of the blast could only be imagined; one local resident had reported hearing breaking glass; he rushed down his garden to find a set of false teeth had entered his greenhouse through a roof pane. Other residents have reported a near miss with a flying walking stick, and a cat impaled on a Zimmer frame leg.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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