The 87-Year-Old Snake Choker

Written by Bureau

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

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In Tampa, Florida, an 87-year-old great grandmother had had it with what she called "the motherloving snakes on her motherloving porch."

So when a seven-inch pygmy rattlesnake slithered up to Ms. Hester Flooring's door and bit her on the hand, she got even, strangling the venomous little serpent with her bare hands.

"She's a tough lady," Flooring's step-daughter, Bernice Radford told the National Inquisitor. "She's a very strong person, so she will be a survivor."

When asked Ms. Flooring stated that she had twisted about a million jar lids open in her life and that the lids had made her hands pretty strong.

Ms. Flooring has been hospitalized since the Sunday incident as a precaution, after she was administered several vials of anti-venom.

But the well-gripped granny is expected to make a full recovery, and Radford says she'll have the dead snake framed for her.

"The only thing I regret", stated Ms. Flooring about choking the rattlesnake, "is that choking that snake made me miss my late husband, Dick."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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