Cumbria carnage 'puts a bit of a dampener' on William engagement ploy

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Thursday, 3 June 2010

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"Any chance of an advance on that $50 million you borrowed, George?"

London - (Killjoys): "Jolly bad form in Whitehaven, eh?" was the gist of a Palace statement this morning as lackeys struggled to spin a fairytale nuptial announcement in the light of Wednesday's Lake District gunshot massacre.

Fawning sycophancy in the Kate Middleton camp earlier this year promised - via American Vogue editor Anna Wintour - a pre-Derby Day engagement statement.

But a yawning £6 billion black hole in Palace finances had already scuppered the idea - irrespective of laughable royal chances to blag the estimated £30 million wherewithall out of Treasury coffers.

"Queen Elizabeth is skint," former Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon said today, "and won't be hocking the Koh-i-Noor to bankroll this foolish New Labour PR stunt.

"Still, rotten luck with that carnage business, what?"

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