London - (Papal Bulls**t Mess): The Tories have agreed to arrest the Pope and to decriminalise cannabis.
In exchange Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg will get a hereditary peerage and Peter Mandelson's job.
And that is the gist of the dirty deal done today deep beneath the crypt of the Palace of Westmonster.
Tory Hellfire Club grandees lost the gruelling one hour arm wrestling match that will guarantee Pope Joe Ratzinger turned over to the Anti-Terror Branch.
The move includes the publication of the City of London's 'God's Banker' suicide files and DNA testing of Margaret Thatcher's knickers.
The plan then sees Lord Clegg rolling out a medicinal marijuana program and weed tax where licensed pharmacies will act as official dope dealers.
Applying the same VAT and excise duty as on alcohol would raise enough tax revenue to slash Britain's whopping great big $220 billion deficit 'within two years'.
Susan Boyle gets an OBE and another four million quid from Simon Cowell.
Expect an update at noon tomorrow.
