After his whirlwind tour of Africa, the Pope returned to Rome to find that an internal inquiry by Bishops and Cardinals had revealed the surreptitious plans of the Papal Seal to corner the world market on condoms.
Upon further investigation a vast store house of condoms was discovered all believed to be part of a Papal stash. The Pontiff claims that upon examination of this curious item, he realized that they could help his out of control hang nails.
After appointing a secret research team of top scientists it was discovered that the use of condoms along with KY Gel a blessing for soothing feet. Indeed, the shoes of the fisherman are squishy. It seems the Pope has taken to slathering his feet in gel and slipping on a pair of condoms, it had been noticed in recent weeks that the Pope was having occasional spills during high mass. With this the Pontiff is said to have switched to french ticklers, which have better traction on the marble floors of the Vatican.
It would seem that, by discouraging the use of condoms worldwide, that the Holy See was preparing and edict that all servants of the Catholic Church wear the new condom socks.