Cameron's bid to prove he is a Charming Man

Written by Vicky Hinault

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Tory leader and maybe future Prime Minister of Britain has hit back at Blur drummer Dave Rowntree's claim that he is not a real Smiths fan.

Rowntree's claims that Smiths fans 'dress a certain way and have a certain haircut' meant that Cameron, in a bid to win the votes of hoards of working class Smiths fans, consulted a stylist, reportedly asking them to make him look depressed, slightly shiny and to give him a bad haircut. He emerged from his consultation two hours later exactly as he headed in, replacing only his trademark Edam grin for a morose scowl.

Cameron then headed out on the campaign trail blasting the Smiths track Bigmouth Strikes Again from his tour bus to promote his hurriedly recorded Album, "A vote for Clegg will hang us all". The Tory hopeful spoke of arch rival Lib Dem candidate Nick Clegg who has in the past week has seen a meteoric rise in popularity describing him as a "thorn in the side of every Eton boy in Britain."

Morrisey himself has refused to be dragged into the argument. A spokesman for the singer said that he was currently too busy with the composition of his new rock opera "Rich Kid at No. 10" to comment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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