Written by bubblyian

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

In addition to the absurd things that Cambridge are doing to increase congestion in the city, traffic calming ideas are sprouting all over the place.

A Spokesperson said, "the best form of traffic calming is another vehicle coming the other way, so we have numerous locations where we have reduced the width so that cars can play 'chicken' to see who is brave enough to get to the gap first."

"We also don't bother fixing pot-holes, as they are wonderful traffic calming devices."

"It is even cheaper to pay compensation to the tiny few who can prove the damage was caused by our negligence rather than fix the pot-holes."

"We like making blind junctions and planting trees and bushes on roundabouts to reduce visibility, so that people have to slow down to see what is happening."

"And la creme de la creme - 20 mph speed limit zones - in places in the town centre where it is impossible to go anything like that fast! Aren't we clever?"

This reporter is looking forward to the massive jump in accident statistics as a result!

More news from the crazy ideas camp here in Cambridge as it happens...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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