Cambridge's congestion charge a step nearer

Funny story written by bubblyian

Thursday, 22 April 2010

image for Cambridge's congestion charge a step nearer

Cambridge has announced plans to introduce even more traffic lights on the city's busy ring road in an attempt to force residents to accept the congestion charge.

Latest plans show additional pot-holes and collapsed sewers to be investigated in 6 locations around the city, plus another fifty traffic lights to be installed at random places.

When asked about this, a spokesman said, "Our supplier was offering buy one get one free on traffic lights, and it was too good an offer to pass up so we invested in another 50. Our aim is to give value for money to our residents and this seemed the best way. It's easy really. Once a road has been designated busy enough to justify one set of lights, then you don't have to bother checking traffic levels again as it automatically justifies further lights anywhere along the same stretch."

When asked about why they were all being installed this week, the spokesman added, "we have to clear them by the end of the financial year, otherwise we have to give them back."

The spokesman was asked about the proposed congestion charge and whether these extra traffic lights would make it more likely, "yes, we hope so. If the Congestion charge is agreed, the government will give us £20million to spend as we like around the city. In order to convince motorists of the need for the charge, we have to make congestion significantly worse first and this is a huge step towards doing so."

The spokesman denied rumours that Ken Livingstone was being hired as an adviser on the congestion charging project.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot