M25 Congestion Charge

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Friday, 6 March 2009

image for M25 Congestion Charge
Artists impression of the M25 when it's not so busy

Users of the M25 Motorway will be charged a congestion charge from August in an attempt to improve the traffic flow. The government is introducing the scheme as an alternative to expensive widening plans, and expects the scheme to raise approximately £2Million per day for the benefit of the nation.

The congestion charge will be payable when leaving the motorway, and will be based on the distance travelled according to a CCTV camera network which will track each vehicle. Payment will be by direct debit, so anyone wishing to use the M25 will need to set this up in advance. The average charge will be £9.25 and will be for a quarter circuit of the road. The charge will incorporate the Dartford crossing tolls, removing the need for the current toll booths. Anyone who uses the road without payment will be fined, and could have their car confiscated and crushed.

Critics say that the scheme will force traffic onto smaller roads around the capital, completely defeating the purpose. Roads minister Geoff Hoon has stated that, on the contrary, the new system will be good, and raise £2Million per day, so any objections will be overruled.

One man we spoke to said he planned to avoid using the M25 slip roads for getting on and off the motorway, and hoped this would get around the charging system.

In an associated story, ministers said they were having the M1 removed from SatNav maps to ease congestion between London and Leeds, and were planning to introduce contraflow chicanes on the M4 in an effort to reduce speeding.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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