Store Wars - Episode One - The Phantom Menace

Written by Clapton is God

Thursday, 22 April 2010

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CNN (Corb News Network) Can Reveal that supermarket chain ASDA's shares have soared this evening as a takeover bid has been placed by an unknown consortium.

A Spokesperson from Asda, Mr Barry DeLeargo from their Great Bridge Branch stated.

"A Global Superstar and their consortium have placed a bid for our supermarket"

William Hill Bookies are now taking bets on who the mystery person is.

Bill Clinton is Odds on Favourite closely followed by Nicole Kidman and finally rank outsider Dame Maggie Smith.

Should the deal go through, The Persons identity will be revealed tommorow morning, the person has agreed to slash prices on essentials to normal people such as Petrol & Asda's own Brand Red Bull & Blue Cheese.

Michael Buerk Signing Off!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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