Goldman Sachs London HQ 'buried under volcanic ash'

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 17 April 2010

image for Goldman Sachs London HQ 'buried under volcanic ash'
Smothered in toxic ash much like the Shandor Building in Ghostbusters

New York - (Off-the-Wall-Street): Fallout from the Eyjafjallajokull glacier volcano has reached the London HQ of investment banking giant Goldman Sachs.

This morning its London office at former Daily Telegraph plant Peterborough Court/133 Fleet Street was looking a lot like the Shandor Building at the end of the Ghostbusters movie - smothered under a thick blanket of toxic particles.

Wall Street's most powerful bank has been charged with fraud by the US Securities & Exchange Omission following a string of blatant sub-prime scams.

These sold dodgy home loans to poverty-stricken individuals who were without a hope in hell of ever making the repayments.

These mortgages were then packaged up as investment vehicles and sold on to tosser institutions like the Royal Bank of Scotland - owners of royal bank Cuntts & Co.

Another Goldman arm then made billions of dollars worth of bets that the entire dodgy scam would go belly up - which it did spectacularly at the end of 2008 - making hundreds of millions of dollars profits for the investment behemoth.

As mechanics struggled to winch to safety Goldman CEO Lloyd C Blankfein's stranded chopper from its ash-strewn Fleet Street rooftop helipad City of London Fraud Squad officials were clearly having the last laugh:

"We think the $250 million 10 year lease they signed on their Peterborough Court HQ could be a forgery!" Fraud Sqwuad sources hinted broadly.

"Icing on the sub-prime cake, I suppose."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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