Ronald Weinland gives reasons for the recent volcanic eruption in Iceland

Written by Lady Godiva

Friday, 16 April 2010

image for Ronald Weinland gives reasons for the recent volcanic eruption in Iceland
God - Ronald Weinman's 'imaginary friend'

Ronald Weinland, one of God's TRUE Prophets (according to Weinland) - the other one is Ron's wife - Yes there are ONLY two TRUE Prophets, has spoken out about the main reason why God caused the recent Volcanic eruption in Iceland.

"God is angry with us," said Weinland. "He does not like us flying through the 'Heavens' upsetting the angles. They sit on their clouds, minding their own business when 'off duty', playing their harps. Then a jet comes at them and they have to duck for cover".

"God is attempting to send this message directly to airlines and God has spoken to me about his reasons for doing this. He is a little upset that Poland is going to suffer. Poland will suffer because people are unable to attend the funeral of their past President, his wife and many others".

"God has called this 'Collateral Damage'. He told me this yesterday when he spoke to me. God IS concerned that no-one is 'hearing' him except me and my wife: The second True Prophet".

When asked how HE got around to all of his speaking engagements and FUND RAISING EVENTS all over the globe, Ron said,

"God has given me, my wife, staff and friends, special privileges and He allows us to fly on 'planes. We are exempt from disrupting the angels. We have 'free' air passages and special mapped-out routes which avoid the angels, especially Gabriel. Don't worry, we know what we are doing. We trust in our Lord God who speaks to us on a regular basis.

Our airplanes - or aeroplanes - have been fitted with expensive Satellite Navigational systems which allow us to avoid ALL Heavenly Beings when we are en route to Holy Functions directed by God".

Well, you can't argue with that. Just get the straight jacket and the rubber-room ready. Correction: Get TWO straitjackets and TWO rubber-rooms ready for these loonies.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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