Brown: If You Don't Like Foreigners, Don't Look at Them

Written by parveen liddy

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

image for Brown: If You Don't Like Foreigners, Don't Look at Them
Brown: 'Don't look' warning

People worried about immigration should not look at foreigners, Gordon Brown has said.

The embattled prime minister has said observing those from abroad stirs up hatred - and even a 'slight glance' is racist.

'It is dangerous to spy, watch or view these people, especially when they are doing things peculiar to their culture,' he told a press conference.

'For example gangs of Romanian gypsy women sell Big Issues all day and are collected by their husbands in BMWs.

'Dishonest begging like this is part of their culture we should all celebrate it.'

Brown added: 'Just don't look at them while they are doing it.

'We've all been contacted by African people either attempting to steal our identity or encouraging us to pay for a share in an imaginary windfall,' the prime minister grinned.

'I'm sure we all get a great deal of pleasure knowing that our credit card details are being used to buy cheap jewellery and snakeskin shoes in Burkina Faso and that we are sharing in a cultural experience.'

Brown admitted that the only reason Labour has flooded Britain with foreigners is too 'rub the Tories noses in it' and swamp previously pleasant shire towns with itinerant vegetable pickers and clothes peg fashioners.

'We also hope that millions of poor people will drag us down to the level of a third world country so we can share the cultural experience of poverty,' Brown added.

'Hopefully they will grateful enough to vote for us too - if they ever learn to read the ballot paper that is.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more