Blunkett faces fresh allegation: Dog probed

Funny story written by Terence William Howard

Tuesday, 14 December 2004

image for Blunkett faces fresh allegation: Dog probed
Under fire

London - Embattled Home Secretary David 'see no evil' Blunkett today did not vehemently deny rumours that he fast-tracked a veterinary appointment for his guide dog Lucky. The allegation was made by a random passer-by in an amazing outburst outside a London fast food restaurant last Thursday. Bob Bodger, 23, suggested to the assembled reporter that Lucky had been 'thrust' to the top of the waiting list after a late night phone call to Islington vet Sally Buggerbox by a man claiming to be a bearded Home Secretary. When pressed as to how such information came to light, Bodger, still 23, elbowed the assembled reporter in the eye before making quick his escape on the back of what was later identified by police as a bike with two or maybe a couple of wheels.

Sally Buggerbox was today unavailable for comment according to somebody that sounded like, and looked suspiciously like, Sally Buggerbox.

A source close to David Blunkett, thought not to be Deputy Prime minister John 'slugger' Prescott told The Spoof, "I can confirm that the smelly-arsed mongrel did indeed receive preferential treatment at the vets, and so did his dog, there is however no suggestion that David Blunkett is the Home Secretary therefore there is no reason for me to comment further on this non-issue".

It is widely known throughout Hull that John Prescott has little time for Blunkett and his dog after a ‘leg humping' incident in 1998.

In a surprising move, a man claiming to be Tory leader Michael Howard leapt to the defence of the Home Secretary. In an interview with toothy 'I'm a celebrity get me out of here' reject Janet Street-Porter, Howard is thought to have said 'something of little interest regarding the allegation' although no transcript can be found as the event may have not taken place according to TV presenters Ant and Dec.

Blunkett, thought to have been born with 'that' beard remained tight-lipped on the allegation, instead choosing to play badminton with disgraced former Grange Hill actor and occasional burger-flipper Harry Hill.

The Spoof has forwarded a dossier of circumstantial evidence to the City of Westminster Police.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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