Written by P R Skelly

Sunday, 26 September 2004

image for Cat Dies as Baggage Handlers Strike

LONDON. Over 600 baggage handlers and maintenance staff went on strike at Gatwick Airport.

Union officials had previously announced that the reason behind this latest walkout was down to the lack of rest time given between shifts, in what was described as physically demanding work.

In interviews granted by spokesmen for the series of British airports, they were insistent that the strike action that had taken place, had no adverse effect on the service that customers had received.

The strike which was destined to last 24 hours, were rocked when rumours abounded amongst those strikers on the front line, that the employers had actually brought in scab workers for the period.

It was soon after this that it was claimed by many passengers, that despite protestations by the employers spokesman, that services were not at the level expected.

In a shocking revelation from a source within the employers walls, it was claimed that the expected target of getting at least 40% of all lugage on the right was not on target. In fact it was claimed that the rate of getting the right luggage to the right destination was at a staggering 99.5%, and two accounts of luggage not reading the destination.

One of these could be instantly discounted, by the incident in which the security forces surrounding the airport blew up a suspicious packages, after a worker claimed that it was making a funny smell and funny noises. it was later revealed that it was a cat box, with a cat inside. The other incident concerned an elderly gentleman who got on the wrong plane, instead of going to Aberdeen, he arrived 27 hours later in Singapore.

A spokesman for the union soon warned of another impending strike following the end of the strike, and the revelations of people using the airplane getting all of their luggage, straight away. "It is a profound show of how little respect these people show the workers. Not only will the customers now come to expect this everytime, the employers will as well. This union has already share with the press the dismay at the already high expected rate of 40%, and would prefer this to be reduced down to 25%. This would allow the workers to get on with the job they have now, of throwing, breaking, and occasionally losing your luggage, without the amount of stress already heaped upon them."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: London, Strike

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