Susan Boyle fanatics were partying last night when her Scottish home town officially became a theme park. SuboLand was opened by HM The Queen, and attended by hundreds of menopausal fanatics and their wealthy husbands.
American sisters Happy and Clappy are running the 'blessings' concession. "We've been here twice before, so if you want to know anything about Scotland just ask us! Did you know, for example, that they actually sell food in supermarkets in Scotland! Who'd have thought!?"
A bus tour of the area is being run by "P'farts Tours". Stay-at-home mom, and part-time doodler, P'fart enthused "The bus is environmentally friendly. It's powered entirely from the hot air coming out of my mouth!"
Fanatic 'William The Dangler', wearing a kilt, said "I love Scotland! It's the only place my dangly bits can get a good airing without being arrested!"
Local Councillor Mr. Jock Buzzeebodee said "Yes, it's just what the good people of Blackburn needed. Lots of Americans walking around blessing each other!"
The 'Tacky Gift Shop' is open for business selling a range of useless crap. Owner Pauline Forest grinned "Our red scarves keep selling out! And our Susan-on-a-rope soap is a good seller too!"
Entry to the theme park is free for those wearing a red scarf, but a $25 entry fee applies to those without.
