Estranged husband of jungle 'celebrity' Katie Price, Peter Andre this evening made a complete and utter twat of himself on the BBC's annual 'Children In Need' appeal.
Singing in a squeaky high-pitched voice, Andre declared that his love was 'Unconditional'
Frankly, his performance was 'Insubstantial' and his claim to be the world's top dad was left open to interpretation.
Does being a good dad involve running to the press every five minutes complaining that your ex is being a bitch?
Does being a good mum involve handing over your eldest child to professional carers because you can afford it and you can't be basically arsed?
We asked a profligate Spoof contributor for his views on the subject and he told us:
"They're as bad as one another. They're both just publicity seeking anuses. They don't give a flying fuck about kids - their own or anybody else's. All these people think about is cameras. Bastards."
The Spoof contributor was not Skoob 1999. Or maybe it was. Actually it was. But don't tell.
More hypocritical bullshit as we get it.