Pizza Man Intimidated By Mafiosi

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Tuesday, 9 February 2010

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The Pizza Connection

Turkish UK Pizza entrepreneur and innovator Ali Bullo (Full English Breakfast Pizza, Sausage Mash And Beans Pizza) today claimed that the Fusilli mafia crime family from Sicily were demanding protection money and taxes from his UK fast food operations. With menace.

"These Sicilian cadrones!" Ali Bullo complained to us. "They send the Goombah Brothers to my shops. They say if I want stay in business I pay taxes and security to them. I tell them to go jiggy-jig themself. I work hard. I no pay pasta man because he wear sunglasses and think him tough cookie. Them Goombah Brother bastards come back smash up shop in Southsea and put willy up customers. I no take dis shit. I Turkish. Turkya. I boxinged semi pro. I kick mafia bottoms good and hard. No problem."

Fearing an outbreak of mafia bloodshed, we contacted Don Fredo Fusilli of the Fusilli Mozzarella And Meatball Corporation of Palermo, Sicily, reputed head of the Fusilli crime family.

"This is ridiculous," he told us in perfect American English. "Why would the Goombah Brothers bother with a small time Turk in a backward nation? They're in England to play a little golf and maybe shoot some grouse."

"But Ali Bullo says they demanded protection money and taxes from him, and when he refused to pay up, they smashed up one of his shops," we countered.

"They get a little boisterous sometimes," Don Fusilli chuckled. "It's just high spirits is all. I assure you."

"That's okay then," we were somewhat relieved. "We can tell Ali Bullo that it was all a mistake, down to high spiritedness, and that he has nothing to worry about..."

"That's right," Don Fusilli chuckled. "And you can also tell Mister Bullo that if he's late with the payments I will personally cut off his balls wid a pair of blunt scissors!"

Maybe we better keep out of this and say - no mas.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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