She does it every day. After first checking if she's been spoofed by satirical websites (which is NOT going to happen, trust us) Girls Aloud singer Sarah Harding slips into a bikini and frolics in the crystal clear waters of the Caribbean, or the Indian Ocean or some-such while the paparazzi snap photo after photo of the blonde stunner so that the rest of us can appreciate how achingly beautiful she is.
At last, we can reveal, to ordinary women all over the world how the divine Sarah apparently maintains her svelte figure, her flawless complexion and her perfect hair.
"She eats pizza," somebody who went to the same school as Sarah told us. "That's how she does it. I seen her eating it when she was at school once. Nothing fancy mind, just a Hawaiian, with cheese, ham and pineapple. That's her secret."
Quite frankly, we weren't totally sold on this theory. Neither ourselves, nor anyone we knew had ever personally witnessed Sarah Harding stuffing her face with pizza. A fact we relayed to our informant.
"Well she ain't gonna tell everybody abaht it is she?" our little lowlife told us. "Otherwise they'd all be bleedin' doin' it stead of avin' placcy surgery an that innit. Jeeze, for heducated geezers you ain't arf bleedin' fick at times..."
More beauty secrets as we get them.