Gordon Ramsay reveals trip to India was life changing - for India

Written by sgt.bunny

Sunday, 24 January 2010


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Gordon Ramsay

Part time celebrity chef and full time pillock Gordon Ramsay has hailed his jolly about in India a "fucking triumph".

The rubber faced 'Scotsman' spent an entire 13 hours in the proud Asian nation, although the footage was edited to make it appear he slummed it for a lot longer.

During his journey Ramsay, 54, insulted vegetarians, Buddists, ants and anyone else listening, he went on to sink a boat with his vast weight, and embarrassingly flirt with his host's wife, all while travelling around incompetently on a scooter, accompanied by his film crew in comfortable 4x4s, and complaining about the heat.

He topped it all off by taking all the custom from poverty stricken food sellers on the streets of Mumbai by tempting the hungry Indian public with his exotic and expensive ingredients.

The insanely highlighted wind bag returned to the UK and called an immediate press conference, he cockily exclaimed:

"I'll tell you how it went; airport, plane, land, hot, cook, toss about, fuck off, India shitting loves me, yes.

"The women, the men, the goats, they all want me out there, I'm bigger than Ganesh!"

Ramsay then left the press conference saying if we want to know more we'll have to buy his book.

India has since complained and said that they let the Jade issue slide, but implied we might have gone a bit too far with this whole Gordon Ramsay thing.

Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh stated: "Like raita, revenge is a dish best served cold, you better watch out when we become a superpower in about 20 years".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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