Did Stephen Gateley Die Because He Was Gay?

Funny story written by Bunsen Burner

Saturday, 17 October 2009

image for Did Stephen Gateley Die Because He Was Gay?
One too many bottom bunk ups can lead to death

The question that many are afraid to ask. The Guardianistas will surely cry "homophobic", but before we reach for the Press Complaints Commission phone number let us look at the facts.

Stephen Gateley was gay. Stephen Gateley is dead. Therefore being gay led to Stephen Gateley being dead. Anybody who fails to see the obvious link is only fooling themselves. When was the last time Long John Baldry recorded a song? He was gay. He is dead. Is Graham Chapman involved in Monty Python's 40th anniversary celebrations? Gay. Dead.

Look at the news recently. The former gay partner of Matt Lucas? Dead. See, a pattern is emerging here. Gay people die. Why? Simply because God does not love them. They indulge in unnatural practices involving other men's bottoms. Sooner or later it was going to blow up in Gateley's face. If you have a daily male up your bum you will not survive.

Gateley was in Boyzone and boys were in Gateley's zone. If you have your fudge packed death will catch up with you. Let all the moaning lefty self righteous pricks ignore the evidence if they want to. I say is Ronan Keating still alive? So why is he not dead? Gateley died because he was gay. It's a scientific fact. This is not homophobia. I simply want the truth to be out in the open.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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