The United Kingdom has today promised to send 500 fresh corpses to Afghanistan, to help the army in Kandahar province, where many British troops have died recently.
The local commander said: "Normally these boys come here, fresh out of training aged about 18 or 19 with little chance of surviving more than a couple of months. It actually works out cheaper if instead we select men who die of natural causes at a young age, give them a uniform, ship their body over here and make them work the front line. Of course, they don't fight as hard, but at least it saves us the heartbreak of having them shot dead. Also we don't have to feed them, or even give them proper weapons. They're already dead, like an invincible army of uniformed zombies. Except that they can't move."
