Liverpool, UK - UK experts say they have found a way of predicting which emergency room patients are going to develop anemia.
The technique, according to Dr. Arberbey, uses a photo scanner to measure the light level reflected from their skin, which then feeds a computer with the data. A special program known as Promis, then determines if the test is required. If it is, then a special robot punctures the arm of the patient and collects a large bucket of blood. Special wetting agents, made from aspartame break-down products, are used to forestall clotting and aid flow. If the patient dies, then it is noted that he was sensitive to future anemia attacks, which now of course, he won't have to worry about.
If he lives, the test is repeated, just to make sure.
The study, published in the journal Bloody Circulation, suggests the technique leads to a 71% reduction in population in certain communities where the residents do not have the proper papers.
The Queen is pleased. Prince Charles is beside himself.
