Doctors Employ Novel Approach to Avoid Lawsuits: The Truth

Funny story written by Charpa93

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

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On the advice of their attorneys and insurance companies, doctors are now stepping forward and admitting their mistakes, hoping that a sincere apology and a couple of bucks will make multi-million dollar lawsuits magically disappear. "Folks who have erroneously lost an arm or a leg, or even a kidney because of a mix-up in charts know that they can't grow those things back and they can't buy a new limb or organ-they just want someone to own up to the mistake and say, 'look, I'm human, I've erred,' said Joe Shnuck, Chief Surgeon at Washington General Hospital.

The plan, nicknamed "Fess Up, Pay Less" up by a consortium of insurance executives and defense attorneys at their annual symposium in Dubai, Saudi Arabia, is the brainchild of John S. Quire, outside counsel for BS Insurance. Said Squire, "If all it takes to mitigate damages is a doctor willing to admit wrongdoing and a couple of hundred dollars to get them (patients) out of our court systems, isn't that what this is really all about?" He added, "They've lost enough. Why put them through years of litigation as well?"

Both men admitted the one roadblock to a successful plan going forward will be to convince the doctors that they won't lose their licenses to practice medicine by admitting making avoidable mistakes. "Once someone signs that release, they can get on to the next patient without a care in the world," said a smiling Schnuck.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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