Your ace spoof reporter covered the Labour Party Conference in Brighton yesterday and along with everyone else there was surprised that Peter Mandelson speaks like a little girl sparking rumours he is having hormone therapy before a sex change operation from Lord to Lady.
What seemed at first like a powerful speech continually wavered, as did Dark Lord Mandelsons voice. For long parts of his speech he appeared to speak in a disconcerting high pitched falsetto voice, this mostly occurred when he was talking down the Tories and boasting about Labour.
When I inquired of the gentleman next to me if Lord Mandelson was undergoing Hormone therapy in preparation for a sex change op Neil Kinnock replied "It wouldn't surprise me boyo, you can't work in all that Labour sleaze and depravity everyday without some of it rubbing off on you!"
So, what exactly has rubbed off on Lord/Lady Mandelson? Perhaps years of spin have finally spun him right round (baby) right round, like a record player, round, round right round.
Another explanation given by a junior MP was that he may have been attempting to inject some form of humour in to his speech and in fact have been copying Ricky Gervais's' habit of speaking in an incredulous high pitched voice when he is attempting to be funny (see : everything Ricky Gervais has ever done, for more details).
Well I for one cant wait to see him spin his way out of this one.
