UK Chef's new book "How to cook 4 Americans" receives mixed reviews

Funny story written by sgt.bunny

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

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Renowned top chef Ollie Jamiver, 34, has published his 115th cookery book on the back of his trip around the USA, and this latest effort has taken a slightly different direction.

The title may seem like its just written in the celebrity chef's trademark spaz language, but is in fact a big nod towards cannabilism, with dishes comprising of up to four American human carcasses.

In a press conferance the tubby pride of Essex said: "It's proper cushdy to be back in me old blighty again, them Yank's place is in a right two and eight and no mistake guv. They didn't even not know who I was or nuffin, bunch of muppets, so I decided to boil some of them for me supper"

He continued "Me books been years in the making, all us celeb cooks are right into the old canabilism game, I've heard Nigella's got one coming out at Crimbo called "Black Widow" or sumffin.

"Americans have had it coming 'en all, they eat 82% of the worlds food, time we all go over and munch on them"

The front cover doesn't give any indication towards the ancient art of eating human and Mr Jamiver, always aware of the commercial market, thinks this will allow him to sell the book in USA claiming "Them geezers probably wont notice".

The book is on sale from Monday priced £16.99 and features dishes such as "Deep fried fingers with parmasan and olive oil", "Braised foot with parmasan and olive oil", and the "Four Yank spit roast, with parmasan and olive oil".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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